My Life Without WoW: Introduction

Hello, My name is Effah from Sargeras, and I’m a recovering WoWaholic.

Before I start recounting my life after Warcraft, let me explain something. I really don’t have a bad thing to say about Blizzard’s masterpeice of a game. I’m a 31-year old bastard who’s had the fortune (misfortune?) to play virtually every MMO that was available on the market over the years… Some games were prettier, sure… Some games were more intricate, ok… In my opinion, however, none of them had the right balance of elements that really kept me hooked like WoW did. Besides, it’s a common fact that the amount of potential children expelled from the bodies of teenage boys upon their first glance at a naked Night Elf female would probably overpopulate our entire solar system. Am I right? Of course I’m right. If you disagree you can write your own fucking editorial about it.

Well then, in order to make this a proper introduction let’s start from the beginning…

Many years ago, I had a wonderfully loving relationship with a little game called EverQuest. I played EQ from early 1999 (launch) right up until November 2004. After that 5-year relationship, I was still convinced that EQ was the only game for me. Then one day, across the floor of my local Electronics Boutique, I saw WoW. Her blue skin, elongated ears, and sultry eyes staring at me. I was stunned… I saw pictures online, sure, but I was still caught completely unaware by the immaculate beauty of her retail box. My mind started racing, my face became flustered. I knew I had to have her. Despite the pangs of remorse for how EverQuest would feel back home, I still walked up to her, said “How YOU Doin’?”, and slowly opened the front flap. Oh glorious day, those were the nicest pair of screenshots I’ve ever seen. I spent $50 on her that night, then brought her home with me.

That was the beginning of my wild relationship with WoW. I’m sure that EQ shed many tears over my infidelity, but hey… shit happens.

Now for my reasons for leaving… When WoW was first launched, it flaunted the fact that unlike EverQuest, you didn’t need to play the game for hours on end just to feel any sense of accomplishment. You could load it up, finish off a quest or two, and be out of there within a half an hour, with no need to even cuddle afterwards or sleep in the wet spot. Seeing as I was fresh off the EverQuest scene where it took 5 hours just to find a proper group, I saw this as a much welcome change. The “quickie” philosophy was quite accurate as well, until you reached the level cap (60). Sure there were instances that could take a few hours to run through, but for the most part the game was designed with short but fruitful quests in mind.

As time went on, and more characters hit 60, players became bored and restless since they felt they had seen all that WoW had to offer. Blizzard heard their cries, and responded by creating end-game instances chock-full of boss battles who dropped arguably the best loot in the game. Now Blizzard had the ability to satisfy a large section of their player-base. The casual players could still level slowly, perhaps create new characters and do it all over again. Meanwhile, the hardcore players were able to join larger guilds dedicated to plowing through these end-game instances and obtaining the best of the best gear to wank off to in the middle of Ironforge. Unfortunately for me, I had a bit of an internal personality conflict. My gamer side is pretty hardcore while every other aspect of my life causes me to require a more casual gaming approach. I tried to balance everything as much as I could, but ultimately in the end the glass started to overflow, and I had to make a choice. As a result, here I am.

So what now? Fucked if I know. That’s what I’m hoping to document in this little blog series of mine. If my words help to enlighten WoW-widows on the internal thought process of a player… good. If I can help explain to a player why his wife is about to shave his testes with a cheese-grater unless he gets off that god damn game… great! You can thank me later.

Off I go… Wish me luck.

* Image courtesy of Montrealtechwatch.com