I try to finish the games I start. I really do. It may take me a while to do so but I try to watch the credits roll on all the games I start. Every once in a while, a game like Vanillaware’s Dragon’s Crown Pro comes a long and just bounces off me. No matter how hard I try, there’s a sensation of dread when playing these games. It doesn’t appear immediately but it eventually seeps in and I just want to stop playing.
I tend to find Vanillaware games to be lookers and generally pleasant on the eyes. Most of Dragon’s Crown is appealing but a sizeable chunk of it was decidedly not. I would go as far as to describe these parts of the game grotesque. I’ve seen my share of questionable boob physics in my day but Dragon’s Crown depictions are just off-putting. I caught glimpses of the eclectic exaggerations in Odin Sphere but Dragon’s Crown took it to a whole new level. I just didn’t like how they portrayed humans in this game. Somebody should have reigned in the boob and muscle sliders. I’m fine with larger than life characters once in a while but this was too much.
Of the six available, I chose the most normal looking class: the elf and her trusty bow. By the third mission, I was already growing bored of her skillset. Compared to the sorceress and other classes, the elf was tame. Her moves weren’t flashy or bombastic. I felt that because she was a normal looking class, her skills reflected that. The other classes were given flashier spells that buried the poor elf’s arrows with an avalanche of special effects. I found having to scrounge up arrows to be especially tedious when other classes could just stand in place a recharge.
I am an optimist so I didn’t let my relatively boring class choice deter me from pushing forward. I was curious what each new level would bring. It turns out, I was moving from locale to locale slaying enemies, collecting loot, and vanquishing bosses. What I didn’t expect was that I would be forced to revisit those locales again, and again, and again. I have no problems revisiting locations but to revisit them so soon, and so frequently was too much of an ask. I needed to grind out quests and run through the same levels and scenarios that were presented to me the first time around. I think it would have been easier to accept retreading the same levels again if I didn’t have to go through the exact same motions. Dodging lava waves is silly the first time around, but having to repeat it is too much of an exercise in patience for me.
I would have felt a greater connection to the loot grind if it didn’t feel like busy work. I felt like I was going through the motions to stay competitive. The armor or weapon selections didn’t yield visual changes neither so it was very apparent that I was going through the motions to make the numbers bigger.
I would have tolerated all the above if the moment to moment gameplay was exciting but it wasn’t. I don’t like how the characters moved on screen. I felt their movements felt stiff and awkward while shifting up and down the plane. I would have preferred if they stuck to the fixed 2D plane like in Odin Sphere. Glimpses of fun juggles and attacks could puffed up here and there but my class wasn’t meant to deal high flying action from the get go so I was limited. I felt like I was flying and free in Odin Sphere. I felt the exact opposite with Dragon’s Crown.
I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to interact with the background with a cursor but I cannot think of a more jarring and disconnected feature. It was like someone saw all the beautiful backgrounds and was convinced that people should spend time pixel hunting. Thankfully it’s largely optional.
I tried playing this game via co-op with my girlfriend but she lost interest rather quickly. I don’t blame her. I stuck around until my character reached level 16 and the game “opened up” but I didn’t see anything worth drawing either of us back. It’s a shame. On paper this sounds like a fun romp but, in reality, I cannot think of a game that actively repelled me away from it..
I don’t like it